I miss writing.. I miss putting my thoughts to paper and weaving a story.
Hence, after reading H's and H's blogs, and recently A's and T's blogs, i was inspired, to start writing again :)
I recently made me a very important decision.
I made a decision to commit myself to taking care of oncological patients.
It was a struggle, because I have a passion for intensive care as well.
Not just that, it is also not going to be easy. But I am going to try like crazy, to find some sort of balance between work and life.
And this is also what this blog is all about. I want to be able to capture and note down interactions and encounters. I want to also use this to pay a tribute to my patients, and more importantly, my loved ones who have given me the courage and support that I need to embark on this journey. One of the main important figures, if not the most, is K, my husband, who has agreed to cheer me on in this!
But I realize, that one of the main motivating factors and things that keep me going, is direct patient care and patient interaction. More so than not, I literally thrive on each individual's story and his/her life that makes each patient so unique. It is also perhaps, the reason why I get drawn into their care so intensely and so deeply, many a times, without even my realizing it.
People tell me not to get too involved, too attached.
I have been given many reasons as to why I should not be so involved, and emotionally attached.
How it may bring about much heartache, tears, sorrows etc.
Of course, one of the most valid points, I feel, is that there is a potential chance of me losing my objectivity and hence, affect my care for that patient and perhaps the other patients.
But, fortunately for me, this emotional attachment has not really affected my judgement nor objectivity
in most parts. And if I were to be truly honest, I find it difficult to be a doctor any other way.
The grass is always greener on the other side, so says everyone.
2013 is coming. And I want to move forward, with the mental strength to not regret decisions that I have made. Most importantly, I want to be a happier person. (I have "The Secret" to help me!) And I want to nurture my existing relationships and love my loved ones even more. I want to grow! As a teacher, to nurture young minds and to help people around me, to grow in their strengths.
The next 3 to 5 years ahead is going to be exciting. Progress, Changes, Moves. It keeps me bubbling inside. I want to stop 'hoping' and start 'believing' that things are going to get better, more awesome, and more Swell-some :)
Wish me luck.
